Barkles Served at Hawks Game

Story submitted from Phoenix Sun TImes
Word is that the man suspected of brutally murdering 2 fans at the Cardinals regular season finale game is still at large. Witnesses are mostly speechless, the few that were available for comment claiming to have seen something entirely supernatural occur before their eyes as the heinous crime unfolded during the fourth quarter of the Cardinals' game at University of Phoenix Stadium on Sunday.

More than 30 fans in attendance at the game against Seattle allege to have seen a 6'2" white man in black sneakers, blue jeans and a black hooded sweatshirt karate chop the 2 Cardinal fans in the throat before feeding their heads to a larger than life "monster" that grew out of the suspect's chest.

Barkle Galaxy was able to get a comment from a Phoenix area eyewitness who spoke only after BG guaranteed him anonymity. "This fella had like...a head. It was almost like a big football player head growing out of his self. I ain't never seen a thing like it. This giant head in his belly was alive and eatin' them 2 boys heads like it they was candy right in front of a big group of folks."

The photo above was taken by another witness and remains the only lead as the manhunt that began during the Cards victory on Sunday continues throughout the Valley. The photographer claims he took this photo on his mobile phone as the suspect "fed" the "man in his chest" a beer after "it devoured" the 2 men.

Police remain optimistic as they gather more information from Phoenix area gentlemens' establishments where the suspect and a group of similarly intoxicated men are said to have been seen in the wee hours of Sunday morning. An employee of Skin Cabaret in Scottsdale commented, "This one group of guys had one guy who looked like the head eating dude (on) the news from the game or whatever. This guy kept yelling "best day ever!!!!!!!" at the top of his lungs and smelled like he had had one two many Rumple Minze shots." Despite the phto i.d. and eyewitnesses at various points throughout Sunday night, the suspect remains on the loose and should be considered most likely unarmed but lethally dangerous.

Sadly, to complicate the investigation, the Glendale Police Department in cooperation with the coroner's office took much longer than would usually be the case to identify the bodies as the victims heads were swallowed whole, eliminating any possibility of dental i.d. and both men were 5'4" white males wearing khaki pants and Larry Fitzgerald #11 jerseys over their turtlenecks.


IF ANYONE HAS INFORAMTION AS TO THE WHEREABOUTS OF A MAN FITTING THIS SUSPECT'S DESCRIPTION PLEASE CONTACT THE GLENDALE PD IMMEDIATELY